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Sunday, September 15, 2013

AMOG

One of my buddies is a famous pro sports player, and every time we go out I definitely learn a little something about what "Alpha" really means.

Social Proof

The most obvious experience is in social proof. Simply being part of his crew is enough to elate me above any social proof I could muster myself. You immediately have extreme value in both girls' and guys' eyes. Doors open for you simply for being there. I am well aware that's a lucky and rare situation to be in, and has nothing to do with me, myself.

But I write this to demonstrate the sheer power of social proof. 

I've experienced this to less degrees in other situations, such as knowing one of the bartenders in a popular bar. Making friends, and having people know that you are respected by others, completely changes how people react to you, and treat you.

Peacocking

People in the community go back and forth about the value of peacocking. At the very least, I do like to dress nicely when I go out for a night, and take enough care to notice how I look. In some situations such as an outdoor festival, having a prize from a game booth around your neck might be enough to start conversations. Or at some clubs catching and wearing a crazy hat the DJ throws from the stage will get girls to talk to you.

They might try to wear the item themselves, which could be an opening for you to toy with them.

To me, peacocking can be effectively used to intrigue a girl (Where did he get that "prop"? How can I get one? He is bold enough to wear that!). But it's only use is to start a conversation, instead of cold-starting. Once the conversation starts it has no value. You can tease a girl easier with a prop, but after more than 30 seconds you'd better have more to say and something else to offer besides the prop itself.

Oh, and after you start the conversation, as Chris Rock says, "Take off that silly hat!"

However, going out with my friend is a very different experience. He does not peacock. He doesn't go out of his way to wear certain things. He does not need to act erratically in order to prove he's the AMOG. It's simply the truth. He doesn't need to be the loudest person in the group, or show off in any way.

However, his sheer size and fame is a peacocking technique in and of itself. Essentially he can't help but peacock himself, whether or not he wants to. He is noticed, and the way he dresses would make no difference either way. Since his body itself is a way to peacock, he simply wears whatever he wants, from sweats to nice clothes, just based on how he is feeling.

Which brings me to my next point.

Apologizing

This is the most potent and important trait I've noticed, yet also the most subtle.

I stated that he dresses how he wants and acts as he wants, but his unapologetic personality goes even further. He does not apologize to anybody frivolously. He is not an asshole in any way, but one thing I've picked up on is his very sparing use of the word "sorry".

Which means that when he says it, you know he means it. He is a MGTOW to some degree, because he goes where he wants, does what he wants, and feels absolutely no need to explain himself to anybody. Peer pressure will not work on him. His boundaries are clear. If he is in training and does not want to eat something, he won't. If he wants a certain drink, or a certain service, he's very clear about what he wants.

But apologies are saved for when he means it. Many people apologize extraneously so that others will like them, or not be offended. However, when you truly don't care if others like you or not, you tend to not feel that need to apologize in your everyday conversations.

We have gone out to restaurants, and the food has come out wrong. When the waiter asks how the food is, a beta would say, "Sorry I think you may have given me french fries instead of mashed potatoes. I suppose it's fine. Sorry I might not have been loud enough. Oh, it's no big deal, I'll eat it." But when the waiter asks my friend if something is correct, he simply says something to the effect of, "No, I wanted mashed potatoes." It's very matter-of-fact. It's not insulting to the waiter as he says it, but very clear that something was not making him happy. Without fumbling about himself, debating whether it's still acceptable, or apologizing for not speaking loudly enough.

And this has nothing to do with fame. This has to do with the fact that his personality is alpha. Anybody can act this way without being a jerk, and in my experience, most people should be clearer about their boundaries.

Thoughts

As I wrap up this post, the obvious critique is that this does not pertain to a majority of the people. Yet that would be incorrect. Besides the obvious social proof coming from fame, these are personality traits that anybody can develop. Even social proof can be developed as I described above, by befriending bartenders, baristas, bouncers, etc.

When we go out and some beta realizes who my friend is, the beta tries to kiss his ass, and it's painfully obvious. People will try to butt in on conversations, or stand near us and laugh along with something we've said, just to feel included.

But when we meet other pro athletes for the first time, or even somebody who is not an athlete but clearly an alpha, the dynamic is one of silent mutual respect. They don't try to out-AMOG each other at all, yet don't fawn over each other trying to kiss ass.

These are personality traits I've learned from some of the most alpha personalities.

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