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Monday, October 7, 2013

Reframing Frame

I like the idea of maintaining your frame, which is something I've read about a good deal in other red pill blogs. Now comes the part of putting it into practice.

The problem is that if your "frame" is disingenuous, then eventually an inconsistency will appear, and women will pick up on that and label it as either "awkward", "fake", or "trying too hard". Somehow they are able to detect subtle cues when your desired frame doesn't fit in with your true personality or mindset. Maybe it's your body posture or tone which is incongruent with the content of your words. Or maybe it's a word or two which don't exactly fit in with the image you're trying to project.

On the same thread, simply changing your mindset internally can be enough to overcome a "wrong" sentence. If you have a certain mindset, you may not even realize it but you'll feel instinctually how to act, how to carry yourself, and the tone to use.

Now that doesn't sound very logical. I am a very rational person, and logically we can go into breaking down the exact set of body languages and associated things to say. But being rational also means that I should recognize when a method (i.e. emotions or mindset) can be a more efficient way to achieve a given goal, even though logically going through specifics might also achieve the same result.

So I want to present a mindset I've found helps me maintain a good frame.

If you have a younger sister, this will be easy and you should imagine talking to her. But for those without a younger sister, I know we all have that one female friend who we are not trying to sleep with at all. With that girl, you have absolutely no fear of rejection because you have zero interest in her. Maybe she is unattractive, or maybe you've slept with her in the past and have no interest anymore.  Or maybe she's just an old friend you're comfortable with and aren't interested in. You know who she is.

With this girl in mind, you have zero expectations. You don't take her shit (because you have nothing to lose with her), and can be playful, teasing, etc. with her. The traditional roadblocks in your mind, trying to say the exact right thing, simply don't concern you with this girl. You don't care. Not in a callous way, but in a way that means you can be completely comfortable in a fun way without trying to sleep with her.

Now whenever you feel yourself losing frame, imagine this girl. Seriously visualize this girl and pretend she is in front of you. How would you react to this girl if she was saying something? How would you respond to her texts? How would you react if she flaked on you?

You can carry this frame with other girls.

Once you do this, you'll realize that you are treating girls whom you do want to sleep with, differently. That indicates that you are either scared you'll do the wrong thing, or trying to say the perfect thing.

Example: Today I was on a business trip, and got a girl's number. As we began to talk, I started to doubt myself and started to think consciously about frame. But then I imagined a particular girl who is a FWB who I could not care less if we never hooked up again. I imagined her in my mind, and pretended this new girl was my FWB. I treated her as such. Not in any sort of degrading way, but with the mindset of "let's meet up if you want because it'll be fun; if not, i don't care".

I am going to meet up with her right now.

So TLDR: Visualize a girl (younger sister, unattractive friend, FWB you don't care about losing as such) and use said female to maintain your frame whenever you start to doubt how to act.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Frustration

When I first started listening to, and reading about, red pill ideas and realizing there was some truth to it, my first reaction was frustration. In fact, every time I see another red pill example out in the real world, I admit I feel that old twinge of frustration.

But then I think about it. And I realize that frustration is pointless. It does not yield better decisions for me, it does not make me happier, and does not change the facts of nature.

The red pill is about seeing the world as it is, not how you want it to be. That frustration was borne out of cognitive dissonance: my experiences were not matching up to my expectations of reality. That is from where much anger, frustration, confusion, and depression, ultimately stem.

What is the point of frustration though? Once you see the cause of the frustration, you can choose to see the world as it is (which includes not only your experiences but others' as well). Then, you can simply use these "frustrating examples" as simply additional information for every decision you make.

The cute girl sleeps with the dumb jock? Well, instead of getting frustrated, you can figure out why that occurred. It is his fitness, his demeanor, his social status, his competition from girls, or his looks that the girl desires? Figure it out, and use it to your advantage. You don't have to emulate him exactly, but you can understand and emulate aspects of him which girls find attractive.

Somebody new joins the social group and all the girls are extremely interested in him? Instead of getting frustrated that he has "AMOGed" you (which is immature thinking on your part), learn and figure out what it is about him that's so interesting to these girls, or what took control o the social situation. Once you let go of your frustration, you'll realize that you might learn a thing or two from him.

I feel this is all too common - many new red pillers initially find the red pill because of bitterness or frustration towards the world not meeting their expectations. And you can tell in the way they talk that they are full of anger and pain, and sometimes in the extreme cases actual misogyny (read: not the b.s. misogyny feminist attribute to all red pill people and ideas) stemming from their pain.

Then you talk to the more experienced red pillers, and they no longer have an ounce of frustration. Their cognitive dissonance is gone and they see the world as it is, and are usually much happier for it. These experienced red pillers have no ill will towards women and their actions. You'll hear the more experienced ones talk about not hating girls for acting as they do, simply accepting it and using that information to further your own goals. You'll hear them say that it's simply part of women's biology and instincts to act as they do. There's no reason to get frustrated or hate them for it. In fact, you can love and respect them, as long as you recognize their fundamental motivations.

Once you realize this, you only have yourself to blame if you are not using all the information to your advantage, and only yourself to blame if you are frustrated. You are the only one responsible for your own emotions.