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Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Rising with a Leader


Identify the Leadership

In any social group, whether that's in a club or in business, there is a hierarchy. You must identify this hierarchy and see who the leader is. In addition, it's important to notice others in the group with leadership qualities. These include ambition, strategic pandering, and controlled aggressiveness, amongst others.

When I was younger, I saw huge leadership potential in my previous boss. He was young and a rising star. He wasn't yet established but he was a huge visionary with a firm grasp on the big picture of his technology. I immediately reached out to him and began working with him. Over the past years, his career has exploded. He is one of the youngest people in this country with his title and has built a significant reputation. I have been an integral part of that rise as well from being one of the few who started with him.

But over the past year or two, I have noticed that he hasn't "scaled" well. He is not as good at managing a larger group, as he was managing a smaller group. This is mostly due to his desire to micromanage and not delegate. It helped his rise but is not a scalable method of management.

Now, I have a new person who is a leader. He is extremely ambitious, already wealthy, smart, knows when to act angry and when to make you feel comfortable, and has good connections. I made secret flights out to meet with this new person, and a few months ago I quit my previous job and begin working for my new boss. Now, working for him, I am learning about the power structure of the new organization, and identifying where my loyalties should lie.

Even in large family gathers, for example, I have been able to identify which person is a natural leader. I have actually had several fruitful business relationships from these leaders.

Now there are two different types of leaders you should identify and win over, with different strategies for each.


The Established Leader

These include executives, mid-to-large-sized company founders, celebrities, athletes, and politicians. They are firmly established in their careers, and they pretty much know their own value. In terms of the pick-up game, these would be the 9's and 10's who have been gaining validation and attention from men all their lives.

For these types of leaders, you do NOT want to pander to them. Everybody around them has been kissing their ass for a long time. To differentiate yourself, you MUST treat them like an equal if not someone slightly below you.

Don't be afraid to question them. It will put you in the spotlight as someone who believes he is worth questioning a natural leader. They will respect you. Don't blindly tell them they are wrong if they aren't, but feel free to disagree or enter into a debate or be competitive. You essentially want to establish yourself as an equal who isn't afraid.

This will put you on their radar. Afterwards, you then want to firmly solidify your value by what you actually do say. It's all smoke and mirrors unless you actually can debate with them, show them some new technology, or demonstrate your business acumen. You've given yourself some respect already by being on their radar (which is rare) and so you don't have to be brilliant with whatever value you demonstrate. It simply has to be above average (although the more value you have, the better).

Once you have their attention and your value has been demonstrated, you will be invited into their inner circle. Stay with them until you detect they are on the downfall, or until you have identified a higher value person with whom to rise.


The Rising Star

The Established Leader will be difficult to win over. They are used to others trying to win them over since their value has been already established in their minds.

A more efficient use of your time is to identify a Rising Star. These are people who have demonstrated leadership qualities (see above), but have not yet realized or implemented such leadership. Think Steve Jobs in the 1970's.

In terms of pickup, these are the 5's who are only 5's because they are overweight, and are currently working out in the gym six days a week. Or the new 8's who used to be ugly and don't realize their own value yet.

For these people, you don't want to treat them as equals or as people slightly below you because they are used to being put down by others. For these people, you want to help them realize their dreams. Play on their emotions and bring them up. Discuss their dreams as shared ventures. Make them realize that they can be huge in this world.

They know they have value but are frustrated that society hasn't recognized it yet. By playing them up, they will take you with them to the top. The only downside is that one day they will realize they don't need you anymore. When that happens, you can either treat them like an Established Leader (which won't be congruent with your existing relationship or mannerisms) or you'd better have identified a new leader by the time the Rising Star has risen.

This is a more risky strategy, as maybe 1 in 10 rising stars will actually rise. That's why you must diversify. For an Established Leader you don't have the time nor luxury to diversify as they will require all of your attention, and are prone to jealousy of other Established Leaders. However, with the Rising Star, you should have identified a few of these and target them all in parallel.

Think of a venture capitalist firm or a hedge fund. Do they use their money to simply invest in the safe, blue-chip stocks (the "Established Leaders" in stocks)? They use some, but most of their money is spent in maybe 10-20 new "Rising Star" stocks with the hope that one of them will hit it big.



Whichever strategy you use, be careful to not make others jealous, to not let on too much that you are using them, and be able to identify when they are falling or when a higher leader is identified.

This applies mostly to business, but also with women. The more a girl is high value and knows it, the more you want to treat them as an "Established Leader" and be unique by bringing them down a notch. The lower value a girl, the more you want to bring her up which will make you unique by not acting like those "assholes" who treat her like shit and get with her friends.

Oh, and if you ever meet a girl who is low value but thinks she's high value, do yourself a favor and stay away. Those girls have ugly personalities.

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