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Thursday, October 9, 2014

Chinks in Armor

In a woman's mind, nothing is sexier than a man on a mission. A man who knows what he wants in life and takes it. Such a man who also has a desire to nurture a protect a woman is the perfect catch for a long term relationship.

They would love to be a part of such a man's vision.

Woman have all sorts of different pattern recognition systems going throughout their brain at any given time. They have seen men who are physically strong, and they correlate external strength with a drive and inner strength. They see men who are drive certain cars, or wear certain clothes, and their vision of a man with inner strength is correlated with these visions. That's why women tend to be attracted to such outwardly displays of inner strength, simple correlation.

So they shit test you. They need to know if you are truly resilient, or if it's all just an act. If you actually have inner strength or are faking. When they break up with you, or become overly emotional, how you act in such a moment defines whether or not they see you as a real man who can handle them.

They want to poke at your armor, to see if there are any chinks.

Forget about how they rationalize their emotions, what they think about their self esteem, why they say they do things. (Man up and realize that you do it too.) These are all post-facto rationalizations of their instincts manifesting. In every situation that you deal with in a relationship, try to figure out what instinct underlies their actions and words. Cut away all the bullshit and figure out what's really going on, in terms of evolution.

From your perspective as a man, every time life throws some shit at you, how you handle it helps redefine your boundaries and decisions. It helps reveal the sculpture underneath these external fa├žades. Then, when a similar situation comes up again, you know how you'll handle it. It becomes part of your comfort zone. Every time we leave our comfort zone, and encounter a new random shit test life throws at us, we expand the circle of what is within our comfort zone. We are more confident how we'll deal with future occurrences. We are conquering more of the randomness of the universe as we grow. We are learning which actions yield better results as we grow and can take a longer timeline perspective of our lives.

As I discussed in my post about antifragility, embrace these tests. Whether from women or just life in general. They are useful. They are chisels used to create the sculpture of your life. They are there to peel away the layers and show you the real man underneath.

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All posts from my Grief miniseries here.

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