Top 5 Posts All Time

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

The Antifragile Red Pill

As I go through the book Antifragile by Nicholas Taleb, I see a tremendous amount of overlap with the red pill.

Antifragility is the concept that disorder and stressors can make some things (fine china) break, but can make some things (muscles) stronger. The idea is whether or not a given entity will improve or degrade when life throws random events at it.

This is inextricably linked with relationships, where you are trying to navigate a dynamic system in which the other party has either agency, or at least unpredictable behavior, depending on your philosophical views.

Every time I've broken up with a girl, it has forced me to confront issues deep within myself, be it jealousy, fear of rejection, dying alone, etc. Each time I've broken up with someone, these issues have been brought to the surface and could not stay hidden. These issues had no choice but to be faced. As such, I have been antifragile when it comes to relationships. They don't bring me down. Rather, they make me stronger.

The real blue pill mentality is that we can predict the future. It's the greatest illusion our minds play upon ourselves. Our minds categorize our memories, assign a certain "order" to the world to protect us from the randomness, and make us believe that we can predict the future.

It's this thinking which frustrates outcome-dependent (i.e. weak) men when the outcomes don't match up to their expectations. It's the classic average frustrated chump subconsciously believing that he can predict and control the future by buying a girl roses.

The red pill, on the other hand, constantly espouses the idea of improving yourself to increase your own sexual market value. Implicitly within this idealogy is the fundamental truth that we don't know what's going to happen in the future. We don't know if we'll meet a girl when we happen to be bulking or cutting. We don't know if the trip to the grocery, when you haven't cut your nails in four weeks and look like a slob, will be the moment you want to interact with the cute cashier.

By making yourself as highly valuable as possible at all times, you are essentially aiming to increase your antifragility. You don't know what life is going to throw at you. You don't know if another man with broader shoulders is going to meet your wife when you're not there. But what you do know, and what is in your control, is whether you are at your peak. You'll know deep down whether you are better able to deal with these random occurrences which would knock a weaker, fragile, man down.

The abundance mentality will shine through when a girl treats you poorly, yet you bounce back harder. You become stronger for it, which usually results in an implicit yet unintentional dread game at work.


Being an antifragile red pill man is all about being outcome independent, and being able to use the randomness of life to improve yourself at every turn. To focus completely on using the world to grow. To not care if it works out with a given girl, but to care if you were the best you could be, self help cliché aside.

To be able to not care if you get dumped. In fact, to embrace small challenges and difficulties in your life, and use them as an excuse to be a stronger man. To be able to turn around and use people making fun of your shoes to learn a little bit about men's shoe brands, which in turn spurs you to buy some Allen Edmonds and then start to delving into the world of male fashion. You became stronger from an experience which would have made a weaker man feel depressed and sorry for himself.

When you find something about your girlfriend's past that shocks and disgusts you, you can use it to face some deep-seated jealousy from your childhood. Or you use it to work out twice as hard at the gym. Years later, when the event is just a blip in your memory, you still have your muscles. You still have your inner peace knowing you've dealt with a primordial emotional issue.

Antifragile is what we should all strive to be. An antifragile red pill man does not fear the random shit tests that life throws at him. He embraces it and uses every "bad" circumstance to learn about himself and improve. By the end of it, his fear of the unknown is gone, replaced by an excitement for how he can further spur on his self development.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Post on reddit.
All posts from my Grief miniseries here.

1 comment: