There was recently a thread on /r/theredpill about using November as an excuse to kick some of your vices. This is standard practice for many people in terms of lent, or for specific months to be "aware" of certain diseases.
But hey, why not jump in? Any excuse to make improvements to myself is as good as any others.
I decided to give up three things in November:
- Cannabis use
- Skipping meditation days.
Oversleeping is definitely a big vice of mine and I am fortunate enough for the luxury of it given my career. However, it holds me back, doesn't develop any discipline, and fucks up my sleeping schedule.
The comfort of one's bed is appealing against the harshness of the world, and having the ability and to luxury to be able to oversleep means I have little incentive to change that behavior.
But it's short term versus long term benefits. Yes, sleeping in the moment feels nice, but I get less work done, I am less likely to go to sleep on time the next night, and I may feel groggy if I lay in bed for a while.
In addition, I welcome challenging things to overcome. Once I've kicked a vice, I now have another "confidence token" to put in my bag, further supporting my self-esteem since I am not more confident that I can overcome challenges.
I don't really use weed recreationally to go out too much. But it is something I use to increase my self-awareness and explore my psyche, especially in times of strife. It also helps my creativity.
But it's a crutch. It's a temporary tool I refuse to be dependent on for self-improvement. Just because it works in the short term (and perhaps especially because it works), means that I may become dependent on it to improve myself or clear my mental state.
Another challenge to overcome to increase my confidence.
Which brings me to...
Meditation. It results in the permanent lasting changes in my mind. As I stated in my September 2013 post "How I Got Here", meditation was the first step to opening my mind to other possible ways to experience the world. In a not-so-roundabout-way led me to the manosphere.
But I am not as disciplined with as I want. I've noticed a correlation between my time and frequency meditating, and significant long term positive effects in my life, the mechanism of which may not necessarily be obvious.
For example, meditating on the anger of not having a white picket fence dream yet allowed me to realize that there were other ways to live, and other ways to be happy! It allowed me to be aware of the social conditioning upon which my happiness depended. And at the root of it all, that's the goal of meditation: awareness.
So no more skipping days. I will do concentration meditation throughout the day and mindful or body scanning meditation at night.
It's time for the next leg in my journey of self improvement to begin. I'd say wish me luck, but I don't believe in luck.