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Monday, April 27, 2015

Apathy?

I used to suffer from a lot of apathy, laziness, general lethargy, for working hard towards delayed gratification.

I have two ways of dealing with bouts of apathy when they arise. The first I wrote about in January, when I ask myself "how would I fail?" at something.
The second is a simple affirmation:

"If I am waiting to truly prefer to start something over all other activities, I'll be waiting forever."

Now sometimes I really do want to go to the gym. Maybe I ate a lot and feel a surge of energy or bloatedness; maybe I'm mad, or stressed, and need to release some energy.

But the daily grind required for a strong physique just isn't always appealing.
Now once I start exercising, I'm good to go. But my momentum of not exercising sometimes overpowers me and makes the change in direction of my day to start exercising difficult.

It's at these moments, that I remind myself that if I'm waiting until I want to start exercising over all other activities (including sitting on my ass on the couch), I may be waiting a long time.

Rather, my goal of the body I want, and the neurochemicals released after exercise, are more of a positive than the lethargy is a negative.
Don't want to take the plunge of working on a side-business? Maybe a touch of fear of failure, or just a general apathy at the hard work that's required? If you wait until you truly are going to prefer starting a project rather than sit around and enjoy a beer with friends, you may be waiting a long time. Your financial goals should be more powerful than your lethargy. Remind yourself that you are going to be waiting a long time to start something if you need to 100% prefer starting such a project over any other activity.

Tangentially, I used to have some minor approach anxiety at bars/clubs/that-starbucks-in-barnes-and-noble (you know, all the best spots for picking up quality girls). But if I stopped masturbating for a week, my lust would overpower my minor anxiety. If my brain knows that the only way it's going to release this built-up lustful pressure is to sleep with a girl, when I take the immediate release away from myself, that is going to be more powerful than any minor spell of approach anxiety.

Become self-aware as to what's truly the root of your apathy in different situations (start daily mindful meditation if you aren't self-aware enough yet, as long as you can overcome your apathy to start that!), and use psychological tricks on yourself to defeat it.

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Saturday, April 4, 2015

Abstraction

I objectify women. I also objectify men. I objectify many things in my life.

But what is objectifying?

It's simply a form of abstract thinking. Abstraction is an important tool in our understanding of the world. We are naturally symbolic creatures, creating symbols to represent situations, memories, people, future outcomes, etc.

Here are some examples of abstract thinking:
  •   Breaking situations down to economics.
  •   Determining the value someone brings to your life.
  •   Having hookups, each serving a sexual purpose for you.
  •  Creating the abstract concept (with legal recognition) of marriage in order to properly raise offspring.
  •   Determining the optimal way to pass on your genes.
  •   Understanding social interactions and power dynamics.  

This type of thinking is freeing. It allows you to break down things to their simple value. It allows you to see your house as shelter, food as sustenance, girls as potential mothers and/or sexual fulfillment.

We discuss the economics of sex. We ask ourselves what value we bring to women. We determine which food to put into our body and which habits of contracting our muscles yield the optimal method to achieve our goals.

Heed this warning, however. Too much abstract thinking could be used as a defense mechanism, in order to hide from dealing with the fear of concrete interactions. Concrete interactions consist of the day-to-day interactions with the women in your life. The sensations of sex being pleasurable. Shooting the shit with your bros or your girl.

If you are using abstraction to avoid the pain of your girl possibly rejecting you, of the possibility of someone with whom you are enjoying a good time hurting you, then you are not in control of your own life and you are weak. If that is the case, then your time attempting understanding these interactions is simply a defense mechanism because you are scared of the concrete feeling of rejection which may accompany the concrete feeling of enjoying an interaction.

You can abstract people into the role you play, the value you bring, the value she brings, and the economics of the situation. But abundance means that you can enjoy the concrete interactions, and recognize that if shit goes south, you'll drop a bitch and move on for someone else to enjoy. Both able to enjoy what they bring to your life, and to also enjoy the concrete interactions.

It is freeing to be able to abstract interactions away, but it's even more freeing to both abstract interactions away, and not be afraid of the concrete dynamics. Don't limit your experience to only abstract thinking (usually new readers) or only concrete interactions (usually detractors who despise our "objectification").

Don't be weak. Embrace both, and enjoy the true freedom of abundance.

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